In my last blog I did a 30 day challenge as a way to warm up into the blog writing community. I figure it was a good way to just get the juices flowing and everything just out there in the open. One of the blogs I follow, Sometimes Sweet has been doing a daily journal entry prompt. so I figured I may as well follow in her footsteps, and here we go.
Everyone has a time in their life they view as a crossroad. Sometimes you can see it as it's happening, and you're able to choose one way or another. Other times you may not realize you're there until you look back, and see what a turning point it really was. This week, write about a time you view as a marker in your life; a distinct place where things changed, for better or worse.
There have been quite a few times in my life where I thought that the world was ending. When my parents moved our family to Arizona, even though we didn't know anyone here. When I lost my purse in the 8th grade, when I told a boy I liked him, and he told me he was gay. Lots of earth shattering moments in my mere 21 years on this earth, some more serious than others, but I think the most influential choice happened about a year ago.
I had just found out that my boyfriend of 8 months had been cheating on me. I was devastated, crushed and thoroughly downhearted. He was my first real love, the first guy I ever let my snarky guard down for, and that was how he repaid me. From where I stood there was only one choice: get out of Prescott. The question was where do I go? For the past three or so years I had had my heart set on Flagstaff. Being in the cool mountain air, with snow, and grass, and a bunch of dirty hippies seemed like a near Nirvana to me. But something in the back of my mind was holding me back.
Flash to an old friend coming into town. He lived down here, in Tucson, and could not stop talking about how awesome it was. "Everyone in Tucson is super chill and there's so much to do!" Sales pitch after sales pitch, and I'm an easy target, so I was sold, hook line and sinker. There was also the added bonus of my big brother being down here so at least I would have some support right off the bat.
Another jump in time. August 2013, me sitting alone in my apartment, bawling my eyes out. I had made a huge mistake. What was I thinking moving out on my own. Prescott was so comfortable, and all my friends are there. I miss my parents, and my pets. I miss how small and safe everything was there. I was miserable, and depressed. I couldn't pull myself together. I would drive the four hours back to Prescott and just cry on my moms lap, and then have to come back down the next day for work. It was just about the darkest time in my life, and no matter what I did, I couldn't shake it. People at work were nice enough, but there was no real connections. All I did was wake up, go to work, come home and sit alone, day in and day out. Most who know me can attest to the fact that I am a very social person, so spending so much time alone was wreaking havoc on my psyche. I was just about ready to throw in the towel, when something switched. I'm not sure if people at work were just warming up to me, or if my constant bombardment of forced conversation had broken them down, but I was actually making friends. I was going out on weekends, I had shopping plans, and coffee dates. Soon enough I would forget that it had been a week since I called my mom crying. It's been months since I was driven home by pure melancholy. I don't know how or when it happened, but I fell in love with my new live. I was an independent young adult. A girl on the town, striking out on my own, and boy am I glad I got out of that rinky-dink town. There's no looking back for me, only looking forward.
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